singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
