Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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