But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
