If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize