i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
