I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
