i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
