At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
