I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
