That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
