Say something about gay babies.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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