Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
