I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
