The maid of honor just puked.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
