I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
