definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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