i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
