Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
