..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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