I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
