Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
