So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize