Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
