I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
