Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
