sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
