You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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