He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
