I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
