Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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