I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
