Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize