fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
