i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize