I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
