I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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