so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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