**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
