My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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