hell yes lets make some ravioli
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
