I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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