took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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