i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize