Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
