Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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