Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
