Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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