Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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