so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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