C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
