Soap is not a condiment
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
