I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
