that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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