id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
