I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
