I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
