Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
