East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he wants to bone in the snuggie
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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