please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
